


Get Out Alive

by LadyLibby



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: (not by joel don't worry), Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Hunters, Implied Sexual Content, Infected, Minor Character Death, Pre-Canon, Romance, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, clickers, joel is well.....he's joel, outbreak, pre-game for the most part, protective!joel, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-08-23 18:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8338339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLibby/pseuds/LadyLibby
Summary: Summary: When the outbreak started, Y/N was only a teenager. Her eighteenth birthday was only a few days away when it all went to shit. She’d flown from her hometown down to Austin for cousin Millie’s wedding. On the night of the reception, infected crashed the party, changing everyone’s world forever. Y/N managed to escape and started the long road of survival in this new and dangerous time. In Houston, she met a smuggler named Joel and his brother. The three worked together, but can anyone stay together in the apocalypse?





	1. Chapter 1

When the outbreak started, Y/N was only a teenager. Her eighteenth birthday was only a few days away when it all went to shit. She’d flown from her hometown down to Austin for cousin Millie’s wedding. The two had always been close, and Millie had asked Y/N to be an honorary bridesmaid. So Y/N took a break from college applications and was excused from school for a few days and made the trip. 

“Mommmmmm, why does Y/N get to be a bridesmaid and not meeeeee?” Annabelle, Y/N’s younger sister whined from the backseat of the rental van. From the passenger seat, their father gave her a stern look.

“Don’t complain, Ana. Millie is letting you be the flower girl.”

Annabelle just huffed, sticking out her lower lip in quiet protest. Y/N leaned over, whispering in her sister’s ear. 

“I wish I could be the flower girl instead,” Annabelle looked unconvinced, so Y/N continued, “I have to walk down the aisle with one of Leo’s groomsmen. You get to walk down all by yourself!” She pretended to be sad, mustering all the faux jealousy she could. 

Annabelle took the bait, a smug smile replacing her previously upset expression. The car continued down the road, the little family talking and laughing together. 

The wedding was being held at Y/N’s grandmother’s house. A big, old mansion on several acres of property a few miles away from the city. Y/N could see the big white tent for tomorrow already set up behind the house when the blue mini van pulled up. Barely out of the car, Y/N was ambushed by a streak of red cotton and blue jeans that was the 24 year old bride-to-be. 

“YOU’RE HERE! OH I’M SO EXCITED!” Y/N nearly fell over as the other woman tackle hugged her, smiling at the southern accent she’d missed so dearly. Y/N only had time to grab her backpack before Millie was dragging her away to the inside of the house and the other bridesmaids. 

The maid of honor was Millie’s sister Piper, and the other bridesmaids were a mix of her college friends, high school best friend, and colleagues. Y/N had only met a few before, so introductions were made. 

“I can’t believe you’re a senior, Y/N! It seemed like just yesterday we were little kids at the beach!” Millie threw an arm around Y/N, hugging her close. 

“I know. I can’t believe you’re getting married!” The other women cooed their agreement and praise. Millie blushed, waving at them to stop. 

“I’m just so happy. I’m about to marry the love of my life. All of the people I want to be here are here to help me celebrate,” she nudged Y/N, “Things are amazing.”

“Don’t jinx it now, Mill.” Hannah teased. 

“Oh hush, you. Nothing can bring me down tonight if they tried.”

The girls all cheered, gossiping and laughing for hours longer. 

****

They made it through the ceremony. Y/N had watched with tears in her eyes as Millie and Leo pledged their love for one another. The pure happiness on her cousin’s face was enough to make her heart melt into a puddle of good feelings. During the outdoor reception, everyone was too caught up in the celebration and dancing to see the strange amounts of smoke in the sky over the distant city, or the faint sound of emergency vehicles. 

Y/N had left the party around midnight, and was in her and Annabelle’s shared bedroom, fast asleep by 1. The sound of her phone ringing woke her with a start. 

“Hello?” Her voice was raspy and laced with sleep. 

“Are you okay?” Y/N’s friend Claire sounded panicked on the other end, and Y/N could hear what sounded like a TV in the background. 

“Claire? Wha-what’s going on? It’s like 3 in the morning.”

“There’s something going on in Austin right now! You’re there! Haven’t you heard or seen-”

There was a loud crash from downstairs and muffled voices could be heard. Two gunshots sounded, and Y/N shot upright in her bed. 

“Y/N? Was that a gun?!” Her heart racing, and the beginnings of panic creeping in, Y/N swung her legs over the edge of the bed. 

“Claire, I gotta go. I need to-”

“Yeah...just...call me when everyone’s safe.”

With a click, the call ended. 

Barefoot and pajama clad, Y/N ran down the stairs. The first thing she saw was blood. Her cousin stood over a dead body. Millie stood off the side, held in a tight embrace by her new husband Leo. Her beautiful white dress was splattered with blood. It felt like a hand closed around her heart when she realized that the body on the ground was wearing her uncle’s clothes. 

“What-what’s going on?”

“There was somethin’ wrong with him. He was….sick. He attacked Jonah!”

Y/N backed away, trying not to throw up. The metallic smell and horrifying red color against Millie’s dress made her dizzy. She stumbled into the wall behind her, desperate to hold on to something solid. Y/N only snapped back into reality when something slammed against the window. Y/N yelped and scrambled a few steps up the stairs. 

“Rick! Don’t-”

The other man hollered unintelligibly, sprinting towards Jonah. With two shots, the second man was on the ground, blood trickling across the tiled floor. Y/N turned and ran upstairs, her brain starting to process what was happening. 

Her parents were already packing the essentials, Annabelle watching with sleepy confusion. Y/N threw on a pair of jeans, and a tee shirt, throwing anything she thought was important in her bag. Within five minutes, Y/N was hugging Millie goodbye. Jonah handed her a gun, his only words of advice being, 

“Remember what I showed you when we were shooting cans in the backyard.”

They pulled out of the driveway and sped away. Every few minutes, they would see other cars, all rushing to the same place. 

“Y/N….I’m scared.”

Y/N reached over and took Annabelle’s hand, trying to comfort the younger girl. 

“I know sweetpea. It’ll be-”

“Oh no no no no NO!”

Their dad yelled, hitting the steering wheel with his hand. The exit for the highway was backed up for a long while. Y/N squeezed Annabelle’s hand, giving her a reassuring smile. As they waited for the other cars to move ahead, she saw movement out of the window to the right. 

“Mom? I think there’s-”

The sound of glass shattering and a blur of cloth were all Y/N saw as someone-no, something attacked their car. Annabelle screamed and the smell of blood filled Y/N’s nose again. 

Claire never got that call. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Five Years Later**

The image of infected dragging her parents from their car awoke Y/N with a start. There was no light filtering through the ripped old curtains by the window, so it was clearly still dark outside. Her father’s watch on her wrist said 4:00 am. 

“Happy Birthday to me.” She sighed, sitting up and getting out of bed. 

The room she had claimed for the price of a few hundred ration cards was small and crappy. The Houston quarantine zone itself was pretty small and crappy. The rules were fairly simple, don’t leave, do what we say, and you won’t get infected. It seemed simple, sure, but the rations the soldiers were supposed to give out kept becoming ‘scarce’ at odd intervals. It was when the ration lines didn’t open at all three years ago back in the Austin QZ, that she snuck out for the first time to get supplies. 

****

_ A clicker would have taken her out if it hadn’t been for Autumn. Autumn was a one woman force of nature. If you got in her way, you regretted it. Even the soldiers let her get away with leaving most days.  _

_ When the clicker had Y/N pinned to the ground with it’s teeth barely an inch away from her face, a gunshot rang out and the creature’s head exploded. Autumn had just strolled over with an expressionless face and helped Y/N up.  _

_ After that, they were friends. Autumn taught Y/N how to shoot, how to fight, how to survive. They went outside the QZ for food, for practice, and for solitude. Through autumn and her training, the soldiers didn’t question why the younger woman had started tagging along.  _

_ Y/N looked to Autumn like the mother who she was trying not to forget. They became a two person family, filling in the holes that had been left behind when everything was lost.  _

_ So it made things all that harder when that hole reopened.  _

_ Y/N and Autumn were a few miles outside the limits of the zone, on the hunt for supplies. As they picked their way across some rubble, a comfortable silence rested between them. Inside a small home with half the wall knocked down, Autumn searched the cabinets in the kitchen, and Y/N checked the living room. Finding nothing except a beaten up couch and some useless scraps of cloth, Y/N ambled back to her pseudo-mother.  _

_ “I had a son.” _

_ Y/N stopped in her tracks at Autumn’s words. The older woman was standing at the sink, a photo in her hand. Moving closer, Y/N could see that it was a kid in a bathtub overflowing  _ _ with bubbles. His curly hair was sudsy and he had a yellow rubber duck. He was caught in a laugh, a picture of childhood joy.  _

_ There were tears in Autumn’s eyes as she kept her gaze locked on the image in her hand. Y/N kept her gaze on the same spot.  _

_ “My little sister was named Annabelle.” _

_ Autumn put the photo back on the counter, adjusting her worn backpack. She gave you a sad smile, before heading towards the door.  _

_ “His name was Travis. He was the cutest kid you’d ever seen. Loved fairies with a passion. I remember, he’d beg me to go out and build those houses for ‘em in the woods out of sticks and stuff.” _

_ Y/N followed her out of the house, taking advantage of the rare personal information being shared.  _

_ “He um….he died when he was 13. Leukemia. And you know what the most messed up part of it is? I’m glad every day that didn’t have to see the horrors of today. He’s in the good place now, I’m sure of it.” _

_ They walked for another few minutes, scavenging houses and old business fronts. Behind an old cafe, they came across a flower garden. The little pink flowers were barely visible behind the other flora, small enough to have been trampled under foot accidentally.  _

_ “Annabelle hated the color pink. It all had to be purple. Purple room, purple dolls, purple clothes, purple everything. Our cousin tried to give her a pink crown once and she just about threw a fit.” _

_ Y/N was silent for a moment, trying not to let the sadness overtake her. That had been becoming harder and harder as time went on. Autumn reached out and squeezed Y/N’s hand.  _

_ “Hey, I know it’s hard. You miss them every goddamn day. And sometimes it feels like without them we can’t go on. But believe me, when it comes to family, you’re never alone. We may not have the people we started with, but I’m here for-” _

_ “AUTUMN LOOK OUT!” _

_ Y/N drew her gun as fast as she could the second she saw the clicker, but it wasn’t fast enough. Autumn was on the ground in the blink of an eye, struggling against it. Y/N shot it in the shoulder first, distracting it enough to get a clear headshot. The clicker twitched a few times before laying flat, completely dead.  _

_ “You good?” _

_ “Yeah...I’m good.” Autumn’s voice was shaky. Y/N helped her to her feet and they went on their way.  _

_ Autumn wasn’t good.  _

_ Four hours later, they were back in the QZ and Y/N knocked on Autumn’s door. She didn’t answer. Assuming that the other woman had gone to sleep, Y/N went to her own room.  _

_ In the morning, Autumn was nowhere to be seen. Confused by the normally early riser’s disappearance, Y/N knocked again on the door. Still nothing.  _

_ “Autumn? Hey, are you feeling-” _

_ A blur of flannel and denim burst from the room, tackling Y/N. Autumn’s eyes were wild and a strangled cry left her mouth. She snapped her teeth close to Y/N’s face. Y/N scrabbled and reached for her gun, laying a few feet away. _

_ Instinctually, she elbowed Autumn in the chest, throwing her off slightly. Taking the window, Y/N grabbed the gun and fired.  _

_ She only realized what she’d done after the pool of blood reached her shoes. The gun hit the floor with a thunk, and her hands covered her mouth in shock. Tears poured over her face, sobs wracking her body.  _

_ Even after countless times scrubbing them clean, Y/N could still smell the blood on her hands. She left for Houston a day later.  _

****

Y/N pulled on her boots, then her jacket, and finally her backpack. Birthday or no, she had to survive, which meant getting away from that depressing place. She went through the motions just like every day. Fred waved her through a backdoor leading outside after she slipped him a ration card and some bandages. 

She ran the first mile or so, having picked the houses along there dry over the years. When the surroundings became less familiar, she slowed to a walk, checking houses and the occasional car.

As she walked, she hummed “Happy Birthday.” Y/N didn’t feel any different as a 23 year old than she did as a 17 year old. The world was still broken, and she’d still lost everything. 

Y/N was pulled out of her thoughts by the telltale sound of a clicker. Well, five of them to be exact. She walked slower, treading lightly and without noise. They were stumbling around in a loose group ahead of her. 

Y/N crept ever so slowly toward the closest one, knife clenched and ready in her hand. With one arm, she grabbed it, and plunged the knife into the side of its neck. It collapsed, and the others were none the wiser. She had just begun her advance on the next, when a loud crash drew all of their attention. 

Two men burst through a door off to the left, shooting at something inside. They turned just in time to see four clickers running at them. The one with darker hair tried to push the other behind him, but he just stood his ground. They both prepared for the onslaught, guns raised. 

Four gunshots rang out, but neither had pulled the trigger. The clickers fell, revealing a young woman. She wore an unbuttoned flannel over a dark blue tank top and a pair of worn jeans. Her hair was pulled into a french braid, and few strands falling around her face. She was breathing heavily, a pistol in her hands. 

Y/N stared at them, and they stared at her. She re-holstered her gun, and adjusted her backpack.

“You’re welcome.”

She turned and began to walk away. 

“Wait!”

She could have kept going. She could have ignored the deep voice that called out. She could have left, making everything that followed utterly and completely different. Instead, she turned and looked at the dark haired man and his companion. 

That’s where it began. 

__  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Y/N had her hand on Joel’s shoulder, holding him in place as she dabbed at the gash on his bicep. Through the doorway, Tommy was banging around the kitchen, cooking the rations leftover from the day before. Joel winced as she started stitching. 

“Here,” she handed him a bottle of whiskey, “drink this. It might take numb you a little.”

He didn’t say anything, just accepted the bottle and hissed every once in a while as she patched him up. 

“So how exactly did you get in this mess?” Y/N gestured to his arm.

“Ran into hunters.” Joel sucked in a breath as she pierced his skin with the needle again.

“And?” She looked at him expectantly, continuing her unsucessful battle at getting him to talk to her more.

“And nothin’. Everyone’s out for themselves, and this time they happened to get in a good hit with the knife.” Y/N finished the final stitch, placing a bandage over her handywork.

“And here I was, thinking that was impossible.” Y/N chuckled, flashing him a smile. Her heartbeat sped up when his mouth twitched slightly. It wasn’t exactly a smile, but she was sure as hell going to take it. 

“Not impossible, just rare.” 

Y/N couldn’t seem to move. She was frozen there, face awfully close to his, hand absorbing the heat from his shoulder. They couldn’t have stayed there more than a few seconds, but to Y/N it felt like forever. 

Tommy called from the other room. “Your five star meal is ready!” 

Y/N pulled away, hurriedly cleaning the makeshift first aid supplies. Joel cleared his throat and pulled his flannel back on. Together, they joined Tommy for a meal of canned beans and crackers. 

“Did you see those soldiers who got strung up in front of the ration line today?”

She cringed at the memory. Y/N had passed their bodies this morning, horrified by the bloody symbol on the wall behind them. An insect design and the words ‘look for the light.’

“Fireflies, right?” Joel asked.

“They’ve been rising up all over the place.” Tommy said excitedly.

“I get the whole fighting back thing, but that was just brutal.” Y/N added, trying not to see the images of those men anymore. 

Tommy frowned. “Their making a statement. Soldiers are so corrupt that this is the only way to be heard anymore.”

Y/N put down her food, troubled by Tommy’s attachment to those people. 

“Things are bad already Tommy, people are dying or being turned enough. I just don’t think that killing those soldiers helps anything other than killing more people to prove a point.”

Joel was quiet, watching the exchange between his brother and Y/N. Tommy’s clear interest in the Fireflies worried him too, but he was well aware of the Miller family stubbornness. 

Y/N still had this....innocence. She had a faith in humanity and the goodness of others that hadn’t been taken from her yet. And for all his gruffness, he didn’t want to see it ripped away from her just yet. He wished he could protect her from the cruel reality of what humans will do out of desperation. 

The rest of dinner was spent in silence, none of them wanting to start a full-fledged argument. 

Yet. 

****

The real fight began when Joel found a firefly pendant on Tommy’s bed. 

“Tommy. What is this?” Joel said, his voice nearly a growl.

Y/N had been with them long enough to know that Joel is really mad when he’s quiet. Tommy’s jaw set, and she could feel the tension building. 

“I’ve been workin’ with them.”

Joel dropped the tag back onto the bed. “How long?”

“Couple weeks.”

“You didn’t tell us.”

Tommy threw up his hands, exasperated. 

“Of course I didn’t tell you! This is exactly what I thought would happen. You, and your controlling issues. We ain’t kids anymore Joel. And you,” Tommy turned to Y/N, anger evident in his face, “you need to wake up and realize that the world is a harsh place. There ain’t good in everybody, okay?”

Joel stepped between you, raising an arm in front of her. “Leave her outta this.”

Y/N pushed Joel’s arm away, getting more upset. “What have you done for them? Have they asked you to murder people yet?”

Joel looked at the floor, trying not remember some of the things he and Tommy had done in the five years since the outbreak. 

“They’re lookin’ for a cure. I want to help them fight the soldiers who are keeping them from their work.”

Y/N’s expression softened, and she took a step toward her friend. 

“Tommy, those people….their just gonna bring you trouble.”

Tommy sighed, some of the anger leaving him. 

“Everything brings me trouble. I’m going with ‘em. They asked me to-”

Joel cut in, his voice harsh. “You’re leaving us. You’re choosing these….strangers over your own fucking brother?”

“I am. And you know what? I NEVER want to see your goddamn face again.”

With that, he was gone. 


	4. Chapter 4

Joel and Y/N walked together. That seemed to be all they’d been doing lately. Walking. They walked across grass, through abandoned buildings, across rooftops, and eventually an old highway. 

The highway was when the silence began to really get to Y/N. She was a natural born talker. The family joke used be that she came out rambling and never ever stopped. With Tommy around, Y/N always had a partner in conversation. 

With Joel….not so much. The man fed off of quiet. He thrived. Y/N couldn’t understand it for the life of her. To her, it was absolute torture. 

As the heat bounced off the pavement, Y/N decided to give it a go. 

“So where exactly are we headed?” She asked. Simple enough question, not too personal. It was even practical. Surely it would start a discussion. 

“Away from Houston.” Was his reply. 

Y/N awaited for more, but no more words came out of his mouth. “Care to elaborate?”

Joel decided to use is favorite answer; more silence. Y/N’s annoyance grew. She knew they were going away from Houston. She was the goddamn reason they left. A reason that she wouldn’t have to think about, if Joel would just distract her with human conversation. 

****

_ It had been about a month since Tommy left. Joel, of course, wouldn’t talk about it no matter how much Y/N tried to get him to open up. After a while, she got frustrated and stopped trying.  _

_ Instead, she spent more time out and about in the QZ when she and Joel weren’t scavenging outside. Over the months of running with the brothers, they’d built up a bit of a reputation.  _

_ The soldiers would often strike up conversations with Y/N. Eventually, they started letting her and Joel out of the zone, no questions asked. Y/N saw it as friendship. Joel saw it as suspicious.  _

_ “I don’t think you should be trustin’ them.” He warned one day.  _

_ “They’ve done nothing but right by me so far, Joel. I’ll be careful, I promise.” Y/N reassured him with a smile. He only huffed and jogged a bit ahead of her.  _

_ The next time they let you out, Joel noticed the way one of them was eyeing her. He didn’t like it at all. After that, he started coming with Y/N when she’d go out. One night, she’d had enough.  _

_ “You should stop being around James.” Joel said as you were lacing up your boots to go out. With a glare you stood up and stalked over.  _

_ “Joel. I’ve had enough. I am capable of making my own damn decisions, alright? James talks to me. I’ve gotten to know him. And that’s more than I can say for other people I know.” With that Y/N was out the door. Too angry to follow, Joel stayed in the apartment, seriously questioning his choices in companions.  _

_ Y/N had a good time with the soldiers. They all laughed together and played cards. She felt safe and happy. Until everyone left to patrol. Well, not everyone; James stayed behind with her.  _

_ “Well, I’d better head back.” She said, turning to go. A tight grip on her wrist stopped her path.  _

_ “You’re real pretty, you know that?” James whispered, uncomfortably close to her ear. _

_ “James, let go.” Y/N said, pulling on his grasp. He wouldn’t budge.  _

_ He backed her up against the wall. Y/N’s instincts kicked in and she began to slowly reach for the knife hidden at her waist.  _

_ “I’ve done a lot for you over that last month haven’t I, Y/N? I’ve been awful nice. I think it’s about time you...returned the favor.” He said, his hands moving to her body in ways she didn’t like at all. When he moved away to shed is jacket, she took her opportunity.  _

_ Y/N pulled the knife and went the strike him wherever she could. Unfortunately, he moved faster, grabbing her wrist again. With a twist, the knife was on the ground and Y/N was crying out at the pain.  _

_ “Bitch.” He spit, grabbing her by the hair this time, his other hand leaving bruises at her hips. She tried fighting him off, but he was far too strong. When she attempted to scream, he started to choke her.  _

_ As she lost air, Y/N kept struggling. She wouldn’t let him get what he wanted. She’d die first. His fingers had just opened the button of her jeans when he suddenly let go. Someone else had grabbed him and dragged in backwards.  _

_ Y/N realized with relief that that someone was Joel. Her bearded friend pulled punch after punch, he didn’t stop. He kept beating James over and over, even when the other man was covered in his own blood.  _

_ “Joel! Stop! Please.” Y/N managed through her damaged airway. At her hoarse plea, Joel stopped. His eyes were cold.  _

_ “He deserves worse than this.” Before Y/N could do a thing, Joel pulled out his pistol and sent a single bullet through James’ head. _

_ Gently, Joel led a shellshocked Y/N back to the apartment and gathered their things.  _

_ “We’re gettin’ out of this place.” _

_ **** _

Y/N had gone uncharacteristically quiet. She hadn’t said anything for at least an hour. Even for his cold exterior, Joel was worried. He realized what was wrong when he saw her holding her left wrist. 

Joel pushed the rage over what that soldier had nearly done down in favor of checking on Y/N. He stopped walking, his unexpected halt breaking her from her thoughts. 

“Oklahoma City.” He said.

She let out a little laugh. “What?”

He started walking again. “You wanted to know where we’re going.” 

Y/N jogged a little so she could walk next to him. The sun reflected off all the abandoned cars, making the day seem a little bit brighter. The two survivors slipped back into their familiar silence, this time a content one. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Boredom. A concept that continued to exist even after the end of the world (so to speak). As they walked along another seemingly endless highway, it was overtaking Y/N. 

Her first attempt to keep the encroaching insanity at bay was to hum. She kept it quiet, and when Joel didn’t shut her up right away, it turned into singing. 

“...’cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone. It’s where you go when you’re alone, it’s where you go to rest your bones.” She kicked a pebble, proud of how on key she was. 

“And it’s not just where you lay head. It’s not just where you make your bed. As long as we’re together, doesn’t matter where we go.” Y/N continued, not noticing Joel looking at her. 

He rarely let his emotions show through the mask he’d worn since…the night of the outbreak. In that moment though, there was something about the little waver in your voice. The way it was rough but also beautiful, that made him flash on a memory. 

Sitting on one end of the couch, a baby girl and her mother on the other. Sarah giggling as her mother sang a soft song to her. With every day that went by, Joel forgot more and more about the mother that Sarah had grown up without. 

He couldn’t recall a voice, or even a face. Just an intense mixture of feelings. In that memory, there was love, and pride. Afterwards...there was hurt, only salvaged by his baby girl. Joel was heading down a dark path when Y/N broke him from his thoughts. 

“And when I’m ready to be bolder, and my cuts have healed with time….shit.” Y/N chuckled. “I forgot the words.” 

Joel just gave his customary huff, trying not to dwell on the fact that all he could hear was Y/N’s voice in that memory. 

“Are you okay?” Y/N asked, peering at him.

Joel internally cursed himself. She could see through his mask. “It’s hot.” Was his only reply. 

“Yeah, no shit.” She snorted, returning her gaze to the road ahead. Once again, they settled into silence. 

Many miles, and many abandoned cars later, a sign came into view. The ‘50 Miles to Waco’ was slightly obscured by a torn banner for the upcoming Quarantine Zone. At the sight, a huge grin spread across Y/N’s face. 

She ran ahead of Joel and off in front of the sign. With what he could only assume was a dance (but mostly consisted of wiggling and jumping around) she pointed at the sign. 

“Civilization! Yes! We can find somewhere to sleep that’s not on rocks.” 

Joel fought the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. How Y/N could retain her enthusiasm, he’d never know.

For all of his wondering, Joel could never have predicted how sad the day actually was when the light of her happiness was extinguished. 

****

The disappointment was palpable when the duo reached and bleak and empty quarantine zone. From the not-so-distant sounds of infected, and the general disarray, it seemed to have been abandoned for a while. 

Without much hope, Joel and Y/N searched the beat up storefronts and apartment buildings. As expected, many others had gotten there before and picked it clean. 

Y/N found a locked door that seemed relatively untouched. In her search for another entry point, she noticed a window above and to the right. Having done it many times before, Joel stood beneath the window and cupped his hands. Gracefully, Y/N pushed off his hands with one foot and jumped to the window ledge. 

Balling up her jacket, she struck the glass, shattering it. Nothing else seemed to be in the adjoining room, and Y/N hopped down with ease. 

“Be careful,” Joel called, seeing her head drop out of sight. 

She opened the door for him, grinning. “Awww, is the stone man showing...emotion?!” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. 

“Watch your sass, kid.”

“Hold on now grandpa, I’m not all that younger than you!” Y/N protested, grabbing some old bandages out of a cupboard. “Actually, I turned 22 the day I met you and Tommy.” She looked up at her solemn companion with a nostalgic smile.

He just hummed in acknowledgment, continuing his own search. Joel pretending not to notice the young woman studying him. 

“You’re older than Tommy...but not by a lot. 37?” She guessed. He said nothing, just opened a desk drawer in the corner. 

“35?” Y/N tried again. Once more she was met with silence. 

“79?” She joked. He scoffed at that one. Laughing a little, she tried for the final time. “33?”

Joel stayed silent, but met her eyes. To his surprise, she didn’t do some dorky celebration dance, she just nodded, pulling her backpack back on. 

Satisfied with their finds, the two head to the next room. Y/N went first, and hadn’t made fully over the threshold when someone grabbed her from behind. She let out a small scream, struggling against the arm across her chest. 

Joel pulled out his handgun as Y/N felt cold metal press against her temple. She fought back her panic, keeping her eyes on Joel. 

A low voice spoke next to her ear. “Drop the gun, or I shoot her.” 

“Easy there buddy, we ain’t here to cause trouble.” Joel reasoned, cutting his gaze to Y/N. She met his eyes, nodding minutely. 

He lowered his gun to the floor slowly, his other hand up in a show of surrender. Adrenaline pumping, Y/N drove an elbow into her captor’s stomach. As he doubled over, she yanked his arm down, the pain making him release the gun. 

Scooping it up off the floor, Y/N backed up and stood beside Joel, both of them pointing their weapons at the man. He looked to be in his early 40s, dark hair receding past his tan forehead. He had tired eyes, but nothing about him screamed cold blooded killer. If anything, he just looked desperate. 

“Don’t shoot! Please!” He yelled, cowering. 

Joel looked unconvinced. “And why exactly should we do that?” 

Before the man could answer, a small figure rushed in front of them. Joel jumped, re-aiming his gun, but Y/N held out her arm to stop him. “Wait.”

The small figure stilled, showing itself to be a young girl with olive skin and bouncy curls. She had her arms stretched wide, shielding the man. Y/N saw Joel tense in her periphery as he lowered the gun. 

“Who are you?” The bearded texan asked, the slight tremor in his voice not escaping Y/N’s notice. 

The man stood, smoothing the girl’s hair with his hand. “I’m Marco, this is-” 

“Julia!” She piped up, her fear slowly being taken over by natural childlike excitement. 

Joel was still wary, but Y/N crouched down to Julia’s level. With a bright smile, she held out her hand to the little girl. 

“Nice to meet you, Julia, I’m Y/N.” The small dark haired child shook her hand. Y/N stood and extended the same gesture to Marco, both apologizing for what had transpired moments before. 

Y/N gestured to her companion. “Mr. Grumpy here is Joel.” Joel only nodded his greeting, never as quick to trust as the young woman he cared so much for. 

“Two days ago, we ran into a pack of infected. Julia and I got separated from my husband, Tim. I’ve been trying to figure out a way back to him, but she has a hurt ankle and I can’t carry her as far as we need to go and fight the infected.” 

“We can help.” Y/N said decidedly, her determination only faltering when a calloused hand grabbed her arm. Joel dragged her back into the other room, scowling. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He growled. 

She yanked her arm from his grip, standing her ground. “Helping out a father and his daughter who have nothing else to turn to, Joel. Family’s a tough thing in this world. I lost mine, and if I can help keep another one from being ripped apart I damn well will.” 

Joel let out a frustrated sigh. “What about when we find the husband dead, or turned? What about when they betray us? What about when you get hurt or killed? What then, Y/N? We ain’t invincible.” He said, the shake returning to his voice at the end. 

Y/N’s expression softened. “Then you can say ‘I told you so.’” A little unsure, she took his hand, putting his fingers over her pulse. “Not dead yet, am I? Only thing I can do is keep not being dead, Joel. I plan on making the most of it.” 

She let go of his hand, but he let the tips of his fingers ghost over her wrist for a few more seconds before withdrawing. Y/N gave him a smile smile and went back to form a plan with Marco. 

Joel sighed. Shaking his head, he followed Y/N into the next adventure. 


	6. Chapter 6

“Another one! Another one!” Little Julia chanted, the volume of her voice in Y/N’s ear making the woman flinch slightly. Y/N had been keeping the child entertained with stories so she wouldn’t complain too much in the heat. 

“How about we make a deal kiddo,” Y/N offered, grinning at the little girl conspiratorially, “I’ll tell you another story, if you promise to talk a little quieter. We wouldn’t want any of the bad creatures to know where we are, right?” 

At the mention of infected, the toddler clung a little tighter to where she was held in Y/N’s arms. “Right.” She whispered. Y/N cleared her throat, making a silly face as she began her next tale. 

“Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…” The survivor started, earning a chuckle from Marco and the smallest of smiles from Joel, both of whom were walking at the front of their little group. 

“There was a princess in the great kingdom of Amerilandia. Her father the king was a wise and beloved ruler, and her mother dignified and genius. She had a little sister by the name of Princess Annabelle. The two princesses didn’t always get along, but they loved one another dearly.” Julia was listening in rapt attention, trying to fight off the heaviness of her eyelids. 

“The royal family lived many happy and peaceful years together. The princesses learned the languages of the world, and eventually even how to fight with swords and bows, should they ever need to defend themselves. Barely a week before the older princess was to turn 17, a terrible disease spread across the land.” 

Julia let out a tired gasp. “Oh no!” 

“The princess and her father worked to fix the problem, getting people into hospitals and keeping the worst areas under lockdown. True tragedy hit however, when the queen and Princess Annabelle came down with the horrid sickness.” 

Y/N paused, putting Julia down as she helped Joel hold up a garage door for Marco to crawl under. She went next, and Julia after her. On the opposite side, Marco and Y/N helped Joel cross before letting the heavy metal slab fall back onto the ground. 

Julia was picked up by her dad that time, and laid her head sleepily on his shoulder. “What happened after that?”

Y/N smiled, continuing her story while leading with Joel. “Well just in the knick of time, a gallant knight of the realm came to the princess and told her-” 

“What’s the knight’s name?” Julia interrupted.

“Um….Sir...Joel. Anyway, he came and told the princess that the cause of the disease was a dragon, who had chosen the mountains to the east as their new home. Unfortunately, dragon smoke is lethal and causes diseases when released into the atmosphere. Without a second thought Sir Joel and the princess were off on a grand adventure to find the dragons. After many miles and fights with goblins and trolls, they reached the great mountains. 

The princess approached a dragon and said ‘Mr. Dragon, I have something to ask of you.’ She was so polite that the dragon listened. ‘You’re smoke is bringing disease to my land. There is sickness everywhere, and people are dying. My own sister and mother are in danger of passing away.’ The dragon was sad. He felt sympathy for the princess, but he had been driven out of every other place he’d wanted to live. So together, the three of them sat and tried to come up with a solution.”

“What was it?” Julia asked, a little lethargic. 

Y/N struggled to come up with a solution, having put herself in a corner. Unexpectedly, Joel came to her aid. 

“Sir Joel’s sister was a sorceress and with the dragon’s permission, she turned him into a human.” The normally quiet man supplied. 

“Yes!” Y/N smiled gratefully at her companion. “The dragon returned with them to the palace where he became an advisor the royal family. All of the sick recovered, and the princess was never happier to see Annabelle up and about, bothering her again. The end.” 

As her story concluded, Y/N turned to gauge Julia’s reaction. Instead of clamoring for another, the child was fast asleep in her father’s arms. 

However, the warmth in Y/N’s heart at the sight was short-lived. After a day of walking and many detours and obstacles in their way, the little cluster of people had made it to the rendezvous point. Hearts sunk into shoes as there was no one else in sight. 

“He’s just late.” Marco said, voice wavering and Y/N could tell he was trying to convince himself that it was true. Her heart ached to see the father holding emotions in and his daughter close to his chest. 

The group of our stood in the foyer of an old office building. All things considered, the place was is fairly good condition. Together, they investigated a few of the adjoining rooms, hoping to find something. 

She and Joel locked eyes, both knowing what was going on. Tim wasn’t late. He wasn’t going to arrive at all. That suspicion was confirmed when they found the body. 

He was propped up against a filing cabinet, blood on all his clothes from a gruesome wound in his neck. From the smell and the discoloration he had probably been dead for at least a day. 

Joel moved closer to Y/N, leaning down to speak in her ear. “If the infected got to him we shouldn’t stay here in the open for too long.” He said, face set in its usual stony expression. 

Marco set Julia down and ignored Joel’s words in favor of saying goodbye to his husband. Y/N swiped her own tears away, watching the heartbreaking scene before her. Joel placed a hand on her lower back, trying to steer her out of the room. 

“Joel...we can’t just leave them.” She argued, guilt and annoyance at her lone-wolf companion flooding her system.

“And we can’t just take them with us either.” Joel finalizes, continuing out of the side room. 

Anger flared up and Y/N grabbed his arm, volume of her voice rising. “Why the hell not, Joel?” Off to their side, Marco wiped away the tears that had fallen. He soothed Julia, who was beginning to stir from the loud voices.

Joel glanced at the father and daughter, wincing at Y/N’s loud words. He gritted his teeth, his own annoyance showing. “They can make their own choices, but it ain’t safe here. We are going. Now.” He took her wrist and made to leave again.

Y/N’s tears fell again, this time out of grief and frustration. “Shut up Joel!” She yanked out of his grip. “They can make their own choices but I can’t?! I am not your charge. You don’t get to pick for me, Joel. I’m a free to make my own decisions!” 

Joel’s eyes hardened, but he didn’t leave. She was stubborn, and a damn idiot, but there was no way he was leaving her on her own. 

“Papa?” Julia’s little voice broke the stagnant silence. “Papa wake up.” She touched her father’s face. 

Marco pulled her away, his voice wavering. “Papa’s gone sweetheart.” 

In all of her 23 years, Y/N had seen a lot of hurt. But standing there and hearing Julia’s cries, her heart felt like it was cracking apart all over again. 

With the sensation that the walls were closing in, Y/N stumbled backwards and brushed past Joel. He followed, hoping that she was giving in. “I….just wanted to give them a minute.” She tried to explain, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand. 

Joel didn’t say anything, letting her have the excuse. She tried to calm her breathing, fighting with knowing she should go with Joel before anyone else died, and her overwhelming guilt. Her stoic protector just watched, fighting his own urge to wrap Y/N up in his arms and try to keep the rest of the horrible horrible world away from her. 

When the pack of clickers barrelled around the corner, Y/N and Joel drew their weapons with mechanical instinct. The first seven fell easily to the duo, but as ammunition ran low, and there didn’t seem to be an end of the undead in sight. 

Y/N made a move to get Marco and Julia, but Joel intervened. She struggled weakly against his grip as he pulled her away and they ran. 

****

Two weeks later found Y/N and Joel huddled up in an old cafe in Wichita Falls. It had been pouring for days and the temperature at night dropped drastically. Joel had first watch, happy to sit alone in silence with his thoughts as the rain fell outside. 

“No…” Y/N mumbled in her sleep. Her brow was furrowed and she started to thrash, dreams turning dark. With practiced care, Joel leaned over hand grasped her shoulder. 

“Wake up, Y/N. It’s just a dream sweetheart. C’mon, wake up.” He soothed, rubbing a hand down her arm. She woke with a start, calming as her eyes focused on him. 

It was the fourth nightmare this week. “Want to talk about it?” He asked, returning his gaze to the rain. She was quiet for a moment, drawing shallow breaths. 

“The day of the outbreak, I was in Austin for my cousin Millie’s wedding. My dad was driving us away from the infected that had attacked the house when…” She stopped, swallowing away the lump in her throat. 

“Runners attacked the car. They grabbed my mom and my little sister Annabelle. I saw them die right in front of me. My dad got me out of the car and we ran. He promised me that it would be the two if us against the world. Two days after we started living the QZ he-” She sobbed, “He took the gun my cousin Jonah gave me and killed himself.” 

She scooched over next to him, looking out at the rain too. “In my dream, we were in the car going...somewhere. I don’t even know where, but it didn’t matter. There was no outbreak, and we were just talking about a movie or some shit like that that didn’t matter because that was what we could talk about before. Out of absolutely nowhere infected attacked the car, and-” 

Her control slipped. Tears flowed and she hunched over as the sobs wracked her body. Joel’s own composure crumbled as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to his chest. She hugged him back tightly, face buried in his red flannel. 

“I saw you die Joel. Right in front of me and there was nothing I could do. You were gone…” Joel shushed Y/N gently, warm hands running up and down her back, calming her. 

“My daughter’s name was Sarah. She was everything to me. The night everything fell apart we were running with Tommy and a soldier…” Y/N could tell that Joel was trying his best to keep his voice level. “Was ordered to take down anyone possibly infected. A bullet hit her in the stomach and she bled out in my arms.” His voice broke. 

Y/N pulled away and looked at him. She could see the pain in his face and the shame at opening up. Y/N didn’t say anything, she just reached up and wiped his tears with her thumbs. His tired brown eyes didn’t leave her E/C ones. 

With the rain pouring outside, Y/N pressed her forehead to Joel’s, resting her arms on his shoulders as his hands found her waist. For a small amount of time it was just them, and the world and all its trouble went away. 


	7. Chapter 7

A loud crash woke Y/N with a start. She sat up quickly, trying to blink away the pounding headache radiating through her skull. Her clothes were spotted with dried blood and her knuckles were caked in it. Unfortunately, Y/N couldn’t really remember if the blood was her own or not. 

The room she was in was tiny, disgusting, and lit only by a tiny window high on the wall to her left. Best guess, it used to be some kind of storeroom or closet. The metal door in front of her had no handle on the inside. It opened with the sickening screech.

“Breakfast time, princess.” A voice said. The voice belonged to a woman, probably in her early 50s, her greasy hair pulled into a tight bun. She tossed the end of a loaf of bread and Y/N caught it before it could hit the floor. 

Y/N eyed the offering suspiciously but ate it anyway, stomach too empty to resist for long. The woman didn’t leave, she just traced the handle of the knife at her belt, watching Y/N. 

“What’s your name, princess?”

“Why should I tell you?” Y/N retorted, her throat scratchy and dry.

“Don’t go gettin’ high and mighty now.” The woman warned, tugging her knife out of its halter. “What. Is. Your. Name?” She asked again, tapping the tip of the blade contemplatively. 

“Y/N.” Y/N growled lowly. 

The woman’s mouth twisted into a wicked grin. “Well Y/N, I’m Nancy and you and I have an awful lot to talk about.”

****

**8 Hours Earlier**

_ The ambush had come out of nowhere. One minute, Y/N and Joel were picking their way through an abandoned street in Wichita Falls and and the next, there were guns to their heads. Together, taking out the two hunters was easy.  _

_ “We gotta move. Assholes like them travel in packs.” Joel warned, pulling Y/N away from where she was stuck, staring at their bodies.  _

_ She followed him, swallowing back the bile in her throat. It was kill or be killed. She had to remember that.  _

_ Their escape only lasted about 3 hours. They had nimbly missed a lot of the hunters, quietly taking out those that they couldn’t sneak by. Hope swelled in Y/N’s chest as she spotted three of them getting out of a truck.  _

_ She and Joel were perched on the second floor of an old office building surveying the ground below. Silently, she brought it to Joel’s attention. He nodded, understanding that this was their only way out.  _

_ On the bottom floor of the office building, he dragged her close and whispered the plan. “I’ll get the guy in the hat and draw their attention while you go around and take out the one in the driver’s seat. Got it?”  _

_ Y/N nodded, determination setting behind her eyes.  _

_ “Be careful.” _

_ “You too.”  _

_ Joel ran full tilt toward the hunters, definitively grabbing their attention while Y/N krept as fast as she could toward the truck. The driver had just drawn his gun to fire at Joel when Y/N opened the door, dragging him out of the seat. She slammed his head into the door before firing a shot into his skull.  _

_ Y/N looked up to see Joel struggling against the other two. Without skipping a beat, Y/N charged, using her knife to stab one in the side, making him double over, letting go of Joel. With another bullet from her gun, this man went down as well. Joel dropped the last one on his own, following Y/N to the truck.  _

_ She had her hand on the gear to take the truck out of park when Joel yelled. “LOOK OUT!”  _

_ His warning came too late, and she locked wide eyes with his own as the window shattered. Several people dragged him away from where he’s been about to climb in. Y/N began to turn just in time for the butt of a shotgun to make contact with her forehead. Joel yelling her name was the last thing she heard as the world faded to black.  _

****

“Where are you from, Y/N?” Nancy asked, sounding perfectly innocent, but the dark look in her eyes said otherwise. 

“Where’s the man I came here with? Is he alive?” Y/N countered. 

“Ah, ah princess,” Nancy warned, dragging her knife across Y/N’s arm. Y/N grimaced as small trails of blood followed the path of the weapon. “I ask the questions.” 

“Austin.” Y/N half-lied. 

“A Texas girl. You’re not all that far from home now are you. How old are you?” 

“Why do you care?” Y/N snapped, regretting it immediately as the knife was dragged into her leg, even harder than before. Y/N cried out, biting back her tears. 

“Who asks the questions?” Nancy asked. 

“You do.” Y/N managed through gritted teeth. “23.” 

“Excellent. Well Y/N, the others wanted me to kill you. You and that old man certainly killed enough of us. I advocated that we spare you. You’re young, you’re strong, you’ve got...fire. I like fire. You’re going to join us.” Nancy said lowly, her voice calm.

“What makes you so certain?” Y/N challenged, defiant.

“I can be...very persuasive…” Nancy purred, digging a fingernail into the gash on Y/N’s leg. Y/N sobbed, tears leaking down her cheeks. She managed to let out a hoarse laugh. 

“I’ll  _ never  _ work with a bitch like you.” Y/N spit, rage dripping from her words. 

Nancy became irritated then, grabbing Y/N by the hair. “Never say never, princess.” She snarled, kicking Y/N in the stomach and stalking out. The metal door slammed shut behind her. 

In the dark once again, Y/N held back her sobs of pain and fear. She started making a plan. She was going to get out of there. Or die trying. 

Hours later, the telltale screech of the metal door made Y/N’s heart pound in anticipation. The young survivor was pressed up against the wall next to the door, muscles tensed, ready to attack. Nancy’s gaze was trained straight ahead, and Y/N could see the momentary panic upon not seeing Y/N on the floor. 

The older woman took a step inside, just past Y/N. In a blur of motion, Y/N grabbed the knife still stained with her own blood and slashed at Nancy’s arm. It took her by surprise and she stumbled farther into the dark room. Y/N didn’t hesitate; she raced out of the cell and slammed the door behind her, trapping her captor inside. 

Y/N emerged into a larger hallway lit by old, flickering florescent lights. Two burly men stood in front of her, talking about something. 

“What the f-” One started before Y/N flew at them. She elbowed him in the nose, knocking him backwards as blood gushed down his face. She wasted no time and tried to stab the other, but he blocked her, grabbing her wrist. Y/N brought her foot up in a swift kick, hitting him square in the crotch. He released his grip and she stabbed him in the neck. 

The first man wrapped an arm around her throat, trying to choke her. She flailed, driving the blade backwards into his thigh. She slipped out of his hold and drove the knife through his ribs. 

Y/N panted, running a hand over the column of her throat, knowing there would be a bruise. She refused to give their bodies a second look. She ran. A left turn and a side door later, Y/N found a shelf with a backpack. It was Joel’s. 

She slung it on, discovering that it had yet to be picked apart by those monsters. As she kept running, the tied some gauze around the cut on her arm. 

“If I were Joel...where would I be..” She whispered, desperate to find her companion. She kept running, until voices down the hall halted her in her tracks. 

“....Nancy wants to recruit the woman.” 

“She and the man killed a third of our people, Max. Why in the hell would we let her be part of this?” 

“Nancy’s in ch-” He began. 

“Bullshit, Adam. Just because she’s in charge doesn’t mean it’s not a stupid-ass decision.” Max interrupted. 

“Well at least she said to kill the other one. He’ll put up a fight, too, I know it.” 

“That’ll be quite the show, won’t it?” Max chuckled, making Y/N’s blood boil. She peeked around the corner, assessing how best to take on the two assholes. 

One began walking in her direction, and she ducked back behind the wall. As he came around the corner, she grabbed him, sinking the knife into his neck. Y/N took his gun out of the holster and crept around the corner. 

She reached the other, who had his back turned and pressed the barrel to his back. “Where are they killing the man?” She hissed. 

“Why should I tell you?” He challenged, and she recognized his voice as Max. 

“I don’t have time for this,” She growled, putting a bullet through the back of his knee. “Where?” She demanded as he fell to the ground. 

“O-outside. Go down this hallway, two lefts.” He yelped, hands above his head in surrender. Y/N knew she would regret it, but she couldn’t bring herself to kill him. Without looking back, she ran. 

Max had told her the truth. The door she found after two lefts led into the moonlight of a decrepit town. Joel was on his knees on the pavement, a man had a gun aimed at his head. Without a second to think, Y/N took aim and shot the executioner. He was dead before he hit the ground. 

Unfortunately for Y/N, there were about five onlookers. They all had weapons and a grudge to settle. Y/N shot the first two, dread settling in the pit of her stomach as the trigger clicked but no bullets flew. 

She drew the knife, as a man and a woman flanked her. The other man was advancing on Joel, who was struggling to untie the ropes around his hands. Y/N took a deep breath and prepared herself for whatever was about to happen. 

The man swung a metal bat at her head, and she narrowly ducked, stabbing the knife in his side. The woman had a switchblade, her well aimed slash catching Y/N in the back of her left thigh. Y/N cried out in pain, dropping to her knees. 

“Y/N!” Joel bellowed, struggling against his own assailant his arms finally freed. 

Y/N grabbed the metal bat from the ground and hauled herself up, ignoring the blood trickling down her leg. She kicked the woman in the stomach and then swung the bat at her head like she was trying to hit a homerun. 

A few feet away, Joel was pinned under the last hunter. The attacker had a grip on Joel’s throat while Joel reached for the executioner’s gun where it lay on the ground. Y/N staggered over and took the firearm, shooting the man in the temple. 

She fell to the ground, spent. Joel caught his breath and got to his feet. He heard shouting in the distance, putting him back in panic mode. He grabbed Y/N’s arm and hauled her to her feet. He took his backpack from her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, helping her run. 

By the time the sun peeked over the horizon, Joel decided they could rest. They’d made it to the outskirts of town, and he found an old veterinarian's office. He gently lifted an exhausted Y/N onto an exam table while he bound the cuts on her body. He hadn’t said a word since they left, and Y/N could see the anger barely contained under the surface. 

She laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Joel, I’m okay.” Her gesture had the opposite effect.

“What the hell were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed, Y/N!” He exploded. 

“I was saving your fucking life, Joel!” She yelled back, pushing his hands away from where he was bandaging her thigh. 

He grimaced but let her finish tying the gauze herself. “You know, just when I think you’re getting smart, you go and do something stupid like that.” He snarled. 

“Stupid, Joel? Really? IF I HADN’T ESCAPED BY MYSELF AND KILLED ALL THOSE PEOPLE YOU’D BE DEAD, JOEL! YOU WOULD HAVE DIED! I WAS PROTECTING YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH!” She screamed, ignoring how much it felt like there were knives in her throat. 

“That’s not how it’s supposed to be! I’M SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU!” Joel matched her volume, slamming his fist onto the table. 

Y/N’s eyes widened, the need to scream at him dissipating. “I’m supposed to protect you.” Joel repeated, voice low and dangerous. With that, he stalked out of the room, leaving Y/N alone to figure out what the hell that meant.  


	8. Chapter 8

Y/N sat in that examination room for an hour, crying. Her tears when from confused and despairing to frustrated. She was convinced Joel wasn’t worth her tears and yet there she was, sobbing like a hormonal teenager. Eventually she fell asleep, physically and emotionally spent.

Outside, Joel sat on the ground with his back propped up against the wall of the building. He held his head in his hands, wishing he was...better. Better at protecting you. Better at saying what he really meant. The truth was that he felt more for you than just protective friendship. Joel could try to pluck out those feelings, but like an invasive weed they just kept growing. 

Thoughts whirling, he knew sleep was nowhere near. With a sigh, Joel got up and searched for any good ways of getting back on their way to Oklahoma City. 

Hours later, Y/N stirred awake from her slumber by familiar, strong, arms lifting her up, one arm hooked under her knees and the other supporting her back. She woke up long enough to swing her own arm onto Joel’s shoulder, curling into his neck. Any anger she had been harboring disappeared at the relief that he hadn't been so mad as to leave and never return. 

Joel gave a small smile at her content expression. He brought Y/N to the newly hotwired car and gently laid her in the passenger seat. Taking his own place on the driver's side he have one more glance at his peaceful companion before stepping on the gas. 

****

Y/N woke up about 50 miles from the Texas to Oklahoma border. She sat up and blearily blinked at her surroundings. There was some old jazz song crackling through the beat up car speakers. 

Joel didn’t say anything for a little while, just looked ahead at the road. Y/N didn’t give him the satisfaction of breaking the silence first and just looked out her window at the passing abandoned farmland. Eventually Joel pulled over. 

“I need to sleep for at least an hour.” He said. Y/N nearly laughed at that. They had just had possibly the biggest argument yet and  _ that  _ was what he had to say to her. 

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll drive for a while.” 

He nodded, and they got out to switch seats. Once more they were on their way and the silence settled again. Joel fell asleep within the week as the jazz song started over. Before long, Y/N passed a sign for Oklahoma State University and was singing all the words to the song.

****

Joel woke up from a dreamless sleep to the sound of Y/N singing. Her voice was a little rough but it sounded like...well, like home. He sat up slowly, the movement making Y/N stop singing and stiffen a little. He cringed inwardly as he realized that she was still upset. 

Calmly she reached over and turned of the music, chin held high in a defiant gesture. If the silence was going to be broken, he had to do it himself. Y/N kept her eyes on the road while Joel had his gaze locked on her. 

Dark rain clouds gathered in the distance, approaching gloomily as the wheels of the car turned against the cracked asphalt. 

“Thank you.” Joel said quietly, turning his head to look out the window. 

“For?” Y/N prompted, wanting him to say more than just monosyllables for once. 

“I know...I know that was hard for you. Killing all of those people. I also know that you did it for me. I'm grateful.” He admitted, turning to look at Y/N as the car pulled to a stop. 

“You said you were supposed to protect me. What was that about, Joel?” She asked, big E/C eyes boring into his brown ones. 

“Y/N, I don’t-”

“No. No more hiding Joel. We're partners. You need to talk to me.” She said, finality in her tone. 

Joel sighed before deciding to just go for it. “I care about you, Y/N. If I didn't keep you safe and something happened I don't know what...I wouldn't…” he trailed off, avoiding her gaze again. 

Y/N softened, placing a hand into his shoulder. “Hey,” she smiled, “That's why I did...what I did back there. You may be one of the most frustrating people I've ever known,” Joel chuckled at that, “But you matter to me. More than I ever expected.” 

Neither of them could seem to look away from the other as Joel brought his hand to her shoulder. His calloused fingers gently intertwined with the hair at the nape of her neck as their faces got minutely closer. Y/N could barely believe what was happening as she started to close her eyes in anticipation. 

Y/N was just feeling that bizarre tingling that come from Joel’s mouth being just millimeters away from her own when a crash of thunder sent her jumping in her seat out of fear. The sky opened up above them and rain began to pour in buckets. 

She pulled back, hand on her chest from surprise. Joel slowly sat upright, stony exterior returning and making the air in the car thick with silence. 

Y/N ran a hand through her hair, steadying her breathing. She put the car in gear and kept driving through the torrential downpour until there were too many abandoned and rusting cars along the road to navigate through.

They waited for the rain to subside before venturing out of the vehicle into the concrete and metal maze ahead. They walked for miles in utter silence, save for the occasional breeze or bird call in the distance. 

Y/N was lost in her thoughts. Joel had definitely been about to kiss her. If she was being totally honest, she was about to kiss him too. In that moment, it had felt so right. She was feeling more than just friendship for her solemn protector, but should she allow those feelings to continue? Love was a dangerous game to play in the world they lived in. Was it love? Or was it her inexperience with relationships and the fact that he was the only man she’d been in constant contact with for years? 

Y/N was hopelessly confused and somehow both relieved and disappointed that nothing had actually happened between them. Sure, things would be even more complicated than they already were, but god how she longed to feel his lips on hers while he held her. 

Y/N glanced over at Joel, hoping that perhap he might be having a similar monologue in his own thoughts...

When the intrepid duo found the Oklahoma City Quarantine Zone to be completely closed off, there was no shock. Disappointment at finding goals unattainable had become the norm as of late. The wooden plank across the padlocked doors read ‘DO NOT ENTER: QZ OVERRUN WITH INFECTED’

Joel surveyed the perimeter for any scraps of supplied while Y/N thought. “Joel,” She said, “While we were driving I saw a sign for Oklahoma State University. Is that worth checking out?” 

He considered it for a moment before shrugging. “Gotta keep moving, don’t we. Why not?”   

****

Y/N stood inside a dorm room. They had found the door locked and managed to break in and find it remarkably untouched. Joel had immediately started to set up camp, looking for any infected, testing the sturdiness of the old mattress, searching the drawers for medicine and supplies. Y/N only stood near an old wooden desk, being overwhelmed with a strange sense of loss. 

Posters on the walls were faded and half torn, but Y/N could make out a band she used to really like and a movie she’d gone to see with her friends one summer. The blanket on the bed was askew and torn in many places, but the subtle floral pattern reminded her of the wallpaper in her childhood home. 

With a slightly shaking hand, she opened a drawer in the desk, a few pens and some forgotten homework inside. There was a broken framed photograph on the desk of a young woman and a young man. He was kissing her cheek while she laughed into the camera. 

Most of the time, Y/N tried not to think about her old life or the people in it. But something about this room made her realize that with the outbreak, she’d lost two lives: the one she had, and the one she might have had. 

She’d been a happy, college-bound teenager with her whole future ahead of her. Then in a split second she lost everything that used to matter and was thrown into the end of the world, alone. Y/N had plans for a career, for love, for life. All of that was gone, and she’d never get it back. 

A few tears began slipping down her cheeks as she sat heavily onto the double bed in the corner. Joel glanced over at her to find Y/N crying. He hated to see her cry. Joel stopped working and slowly approached her. 

“Hey now, we’re safe for the moment. This isn’t a time for tears, darling.” He said quietly, accent almost more pronounced in the quiet of the room. At the term of endearment, Y/N flashed a teary smile. 

“I know, it’s just allergies. That dust really gets me. Here, I’ll get off my ass and help you.” She lied, wiping her tears and getting up. Joel gently grabbed her hand and pulled her back to sit on the bed. 

“You and I both know it ain’t allergies.” He said, not letting go of her hand. “What is it?” 

“I...I was going to go to a place like this. College, I mean. I had a whole plan, you know? Major in history, get a job, meet the love of my life, get married and have kids while also having a career…” Joel stiffened at little at the love part, but kept a neutral face as she spoke. “And then I lost my family, and I haven’t been back to my hometown since the outbreak. Not to mention that my whole ‘plan’ went out the window.”

He squeezed her hand. “If you had your plan, do you think you’dve met me?” He asked, tone emotionless and unreadable. 

“I…” She met his gaze, “Well no, probably not.” 

“Then I’m glad that plan went out the window.” He said, sincerely. Before she could reply, he was pulling her to her feet. “If you want to sleep anytime soon, I need help figuring out how to secure this door for the night.” 

Together, they developed system to keep danger out, but not trap them permanently. Safe for the moment, Y/N yawned widely, making Joel chuckle. 

“Come on sleepyhead, time for some rest.” He said, moving his backpack off of the bed. 

“I’ll take the floor, your old bones need the bed anyway.” Y/N teased, grabbing her own bag for a makeshift pillow. 

Apparently favoring action over words that evening, Joel grabbed her waist and easily lifted her onto the bed. “It’s big enough for both of us.” He said simply. 

Darkness descending on the room, Joel fell asleep quickly, protective arm gently laid over Y/N’s hip. Feeling more safe than she had in years, Y/N drifted off into a content and restful sleep.

If only it lasted. 


	9. Chapter 9

In the craziness that had become the world, everyone had new priorities. Once, people were occupied with being at work on time, how to get that coffee stain off of their new shit, and if they should pick up that call from mom. 

Once a quarter of the population became infected, and another quarter died, those priorities shifted. Life became about making it to tomorrow, finding any small amount of food, and kill or be killed. 

In the new world, the chief concern was staying human, not getting bitten, and staying the hell away from spores. What caught Y/N off guard; however, was the flu. 

She assumed that she’d picked the virus up from the hunter compound back in Wichita Falls. For the first few days as she’d begun to feel sick, Y/N had tried to keep it secret from Joel. She pushed through the nausea and the headaches with the hope that it was just a passing thing and would be gone within 48 hours. 

She was wrong. 

They had been at OSU for about a week when Y/N woke up in the middle of the night, covered in a sheen of sweat, head pounding. She managed to untangle herself from Joel and run to the little bathroom before throwing up the contents of her stomach. 

Joel, awoken by the empty feeling he’d been experiencing whenever Y/N was absent from the bed, shot up at the sound of her being sick. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and made his way to the bathroom to tend to her. 

He kneeled next to her and pulled her hair out of her face while rubbing gentle circles on her back. Y/N was pale and unshed tears shone in her eyes. 

“It’s okay sweetheart, get it out.” Joel said soothingly, making the tears finally fall. 

“I-I’m sorry,” She sobbed, “I woke you up. I’ll be ok, go back to bed.” Y/N tried to push him away weakly, ashamed of her vulnerable state. 

Joel didn’t reply, but he didn’t leave either. He just stayed there until she was done throwing up. Silently, he hooked his hand under her knees and supported her back with the other, carrying her back to the bed. 

He felt her forehead gently, finding it hot to the touch. “Fever.” He said simply, disappearing back into the bathroom and retrieving a cool cloth to dab on her face gently. 

Joel pulled the lightweight blanket up to her shoulders and made sure there was a canteen full of water on hand to keep Y/N hydrated. He crawled back onto the bed and sat beside her, watching carefully for signs of her condition getting worse. 

“Thank you, Joel.” Y/N whispered, nodding off into a fatigued sleep. 

He brushed her hair away from her forehead, allowing his concern to show through now that she was asleep. Without vaccines, or medicine, he knew that she could be in serious danger. Joel stayed awake the rest of the night, protectively watching as Y/N slept restlessly. 

As the days went on, Y/N got worse. She was awake for three hours at most during the day, and sleeping fitfully the rest of the time. For the the first 24 hours, Joel was glued to her side, providing anything and everything that he thought might make her feel better. 

He held her close when she got chills, he carried her to the bathroom when she couldn’t stand, he fed her when she was too weak to even speak more than three words. Y/N would thank him and apologize weakly, while Joel would just wave it off, mumbling something about it being his job. 

Eventually, he had to go out to get more supplies. Joel would always be back within two hours of his leaving, rushing immediately to her side and going right back to caring for her.  

He tried to hide it, but even in her hazy state Y/N could see that he was terrified. The third night was especially bad as Y/N began to throw up blood and her breathing became shallower. Joel earnestly thought that he might be about to lose her. Desperate and panicked, he prayed, something he hadn’t done since the night of the outbreak. 

“I know that I haven’t done this in years, and that I don’t deserve anything for all that I have done in my life, but Y/N does. She doesn’t deserve to be taken away from her life. Please, she’s still kind and unbroken, don’t let her die.” His voice broke, “I need her, I need her more than I need anything.” 

Y/N shifted under the blanket, brow creased as she whimpered in her sleep. Joel pushed his tears back down and came to her side once more. 

Maybe it was chance, maybe it was Joel’s hidden nursing skills, maybe it was God, or maybe it was Y/N’s strength, but her fever finally broke the next morning. Within the 8 hours following, she regained a little strength and was able to keep down the small amounts of soup Joel fed her. Color was returning to her face and she gave him a weak smile that he couldn’t help but return. 

“Thank you, Joel. I mean it. If I didn’t have you...I would have died long ago.” Y/N said, grabbing his hand and squeezing gently. 

He was about to say something in return when the sound of glass shattering grabbed both of their attentions. Joel grabbed his gun and moved towards the door. 

“Stay here.” He said. 

Y/N obeyed, knowing that she wasn’t strong enough to make it more than a few steps on her own yet. When she heard the screeches of clickers and gunshots down the hall though, she gave up on following Joel’s orders. 

Y/N hauled herself out of bed and used the room’s desk for support as she made her way to the door, gun in hand and knife hidden in her boot. Her progress was slow, but by leaning against the wall, Y/N was able to shuffle down the hallway towards certain danger. 

Approaching the noises, a clicker came barrelling around the corner, straight at her. She managed to lift the weapon and shoot at the last second, the growths on the creature’s head splattering against the wall as it fell. 

Breathing labored, Y/N kept walking. She rounded the corner herself to see her companion take down a runner just before another clicker tackled him, snapping its teeth in his face. 

Y/N knew that her hands were far to shaky to have accurate aim, so with a surge of adrenaline and the last of her energy, she rushed the undead monster and stabbed it repeatedly in the neck. 

Joel pushed it off of his body to see Y/N swaying above him. He moved quickly, catching her as her knees buckled and she began to fall. He cursed under his breath, but decided not to pick another fight over her saving his life. 

Carefully, Joel helped her back to the room where he made her get back in bed. 

“There’s probably more of them around, Joel. We should keep moving.” She said, helping clean him up. 

“Not while you’re recovering. I can handle them until you’re walking again.”

“I can walk-” She was silenced by his pointed glare. 

It took three days for Y/N to recover enough that Joel was okay with moving on from OSU. She wasn’t at full strength, but she’d been pestering him enough that he gave in. They made it to the bottom level of dorms and exited through a trashed common room. Y/N walked a little bit ahead of Joel as they left the brick building behind, treading across the campus. 

She turned to speak when she caught sight of something behind him. “Joel, duck!” She shouted. 

He did as she said and she fired two shots above his head. He turned to see a runner dead on the ground. When Joel looked back at Y/N, she wore a self-satisfied smile. 

“Told you I feel better.” She teased. 

He growled, stepping closer to her. “Don’t sass me, Y/N.” 

“No thanks.” She said, still smiling. 

Neither one of them were quite sure how it happened, but in an instant, his hand was in her hair and hers were on his shoulders. He leaned down a little as she pushed up on her toes. Their lips met in a long awaited kiss, filled with unspoken feelings. 


	10. Chapter 10

Oklahoma seemed to be a long stretch of abandoned farmland and rolling land for miles and miles. Y/N wiled away the hours of stagnant silence pretending to take in the spectacular view. Really, her mind was buzzing with thoughts and questions and most prominently, the need to feel Joel’s kiss again. 

Nothing had been said from either of them since the vulnerable moment of romance back in central Oklahoma. They were well into the Eastern part of the state by the time Y/N began to get angry. 

She didn’t break the silence, venting her feelings through a few more inches of distance between her and her impassive companion with a scowl set on her features. Unfortunately for Y/N, the two had been traveling together for so long they no longer needed words to operate like a well oiled machine. 

Y/N knew the subtle body language Joel expressed when he needed her to toss him the water canteen. Joel knew how the pattern of her footsteps would change when she needed to rest. Their rhythm helped them survive, but right then, it was driving Y/N crazy. 

Still, no words were spoken as they set up camp under cover of a few trees surrounded by plains. Silence unbroken, Y/N took first watch as Joel slept. Hours later, she shook him awake and they switched places. Their eyes met under the bright light of the moon and stayed entranced by each other’s gaze for a moment. The pause made her heart race as she dared to hope he would say something, or even better, kiss her again. 

Predictably, the world weary survivor looked away, shuffling to sit a foot away from Y/N while she lay down, disappointed. As the sun rose, Joel roused Y/N from her dreamless sleep and wordlessly handed her a granola bar as her breakfast. She didn’t offer him half like normal. He didn’t deserve her kindness that morning. If he noticed, he sure as hell didn’t say anything. 

The breeze whistled. The tall grass rustled. Birds sang. The sky was blue and clouds moved lazily above the two travelers. On a normal day all of the scenery would have made Y/N smile and feel thankful to have lived to see this untamed version of the world. 

That day; however, was not a normal day. Any sound that reached Y/N’s ears that wasn’t Joel apologizing, saying how he felt, or  _ literally anything else,  _ only served to make her anger grow. 

At some point, she retreated inside of herself somehow, no longer hearing or taking in the scenery she was walking past. All Y/N could experience were her thoughts. What thoughts they were indeed. They were venomous and passionate. They were swirling and flighty, casting a shadow on anything and everything, but not really fixating for long. A storm was brewing, and it was only a matter of time before the thunder and lightning began. 

First, Y/N was angry about all the walking. That was all they ever did. Where was she letting Joel take her this time? Oklahoma had been a bust. Were they just going to walk until there was no more land to walk on? 

Her turbulent thoughts turned to Joel next. She hated how he could be quiet for so long. She hated his stupid flannel. She hated how strong he was to keep going after all of the things he’s experienced. She hate his handsome face. Y/N hated the way that she felt the exact opposite of hate towards Joel. 

Needing to move on before either punching him or kissing him, she thought about something else with contempt. Y/N went on like this for a long while, moving from topic to topic, oblivious to Joel’s observant gaze. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” 

Y/N’s thoughts quieted at Joel’s exasperated tone. He stopped walking, grabbing her wrist to stop her too. She turned to face him, defiance in her eyes. 

Before saying anything else, Joel simply stepped forward, closing the space between them. He leaned down a few inches and kissed her. Y/N kissed back, at first feeling relief at the contact. As she realized that this was just another form of Joel’s famous silence, the anger returned in droves. 

Y/N’s knuckled turned white as she gripped handfuls of his shirt. She let go and moved away as they both caught their breath. Joel was smirking at her, but when he moved in to kiss her again she put her hands on his shoulders, stopping him. 

“No.” She said. 

He looked confused and a little hurt.

“You don’t get to keep doing this Joel. You can’t just kiss me and then go back to being a fucking stone statue okay? It’s not fair. I don’t know what the hell this is, because you won’t talk to me! Are you kissing me because I’m the only other person you’ve been around for a year? I kissed you because I care about you, Joel, deeply. No, actually, I love you! See, I can admit it. I. Love. You.” Y/N shouted, the words falling out like an uncontrollable flood. 

“You’re the only person in the world that I trust, Joel. Without you I’d….I wouldn’t be me anymore. I’m fucking terrified to say all of this to you, but you know what, you’re worth it. Am I worth you dropping the mask to tell me the truth about what this is? What  _ we  _ are, Joel?” She finished, staring up at him with determination and anger. 

Joel looked dumbfounded, trying to process everything that had just been said. On one level, she had said she loved him, which made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time: hope. On another level, she knew that vulnerability was not easy for him and her frustration with that made him get a little angry himself. 

“Y/N, you know that I don’t-I’m not-” He stumbled, trying to find the right thing to say. Instead, he let his mouth fall shut, leaving her looking at him expectantly. 

“Of course.” She said after a moment of heavy silence. Joel could see tears beginning to form in her eyes. He reached out to her, but she only stepped away, running into a field of overgrown wheat, the tall stalks helping her disappear from sight. 

Joel’s heart dropped into his shoes at the idea of losing her. This was worse than that night when she had the flu. This time if he lost her, it would be his fault. Joel plunged into the sea of crops after her, knowing he had to find her and make things right. 


	11. Chapter 11

Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she was this angry. Tears of frustration blurred her vision as she ran. The tall wheat of the abandoned farm melded into a pretty golden blur as she made her escape. Behind her, she could hear the faint sounds of Joel calling her name. 

She knew she was being immature. Running away from problems never solved them, it just created a distraction and more problems. Still, Y/N couldn’t bear to look at Joel. She had told him her feelings, made herself vulnerable. All he had done was stand there. 

That’s all he ever did, she thought bitterly. 

Her anger was quickly giving way to disappointment and embarrassment. Crying harder, her pace slowed. Y/N felt ashamed. Joel wasn’t worth her tears, and yet there she was, sobbing. How could she have been so stupid? Love was impossible. Love sucked. Why wouldn’t it just leave her alone!?

Y/N broke through the other side of the wheat field, slowing her pace to a walk. She didn’t want to stop when Joel might catch up with her and...what, let her down easy before pulling her back on their adventure? No, she wasn’t ready to face that. 

A field of corn lay a few yards ahead. Y/N laughed mirthlessly at the ridiculousness of her situation. She was running away from the man she loved in a stupid field of food. Despite the strangeness, she continued on into the forest of tall green stalks. The corn shielded her from the direct beams of sunlight, and the atmosphere became almost pleasant. 

As she walked, her breathing slowed and she stopped crying. The tall green plants reminded her of autumn, years before. Annabelle had been no more than four. Their parents had taken them to a local farm for apple picking. 

Once they’d filled their baskets to the brim with the crispy red fruit, Annabelle had spotted a corn maze and was unwavering on her need to go explore it. Y/N had patiently taken her younger sister’s hand and together they had ventured into the maze. 

Y/N longed after the memory of an afternoon full of giggles and a few sisterly arguments about which way to go. In a strange way, Y/N was glad Annabelle didn’t have to see what the world had become. She had lived a short, but happy life where she was loved deeply by her parents and even more by her older sister. 

Absently, she wondered if Annabelle would have liked Joel. She could easily imagine the outspoken little girl asking him why he was so grumpy. That thought made Y/N smile. 

Emotions no longer at an extreme, Y/N found the end of the corn field. Off in the distance she saw the remains of an old farmhouse, reduced to rotting wood and broken windows. The sun was moving towards the Eastern horizon as the afternoon began to slip away. 

Y/N found a rock to sit on and watch the clouds move across the sky, becoming tinged with pinks and oranges. It was peaceful there, and she lost track of time. 

“There you are.” Joel’s voice broke the sound of bird calls and gentle breeze. 

Y/N didn’t look at him. “Here I am.” 

Joel came to sit next to her, moving like she was a deer he could scare off any second. He left several inches in between them, even though Y/N didn’t want him to. 

“Y/N, I-” 

“Joel, stop. We don’t-let’s not talk about it. I get it, you don’t...it’s fine.” She said, keeping her voice as steady as possible. 

“No, I need to say this.” He insisted. 

Y/N turned to look at him, surprised at the emotion in his voice. His stare told her that he was nervous, but also relieved at finding her. 

“I ain’t good with feelings. Dealing with them is hard, and talking about them isn’t something I’ve had a lot of practice with in my life.” He began. 

As much as she tried to prevent it, the heartbreak she’d felt earlier was beginning to be healed by a sense of hope. 

Joel took a deep breath. “I love you.” 

The smile that blossomed on Y/N’s lips made Joel reach out and take her hand. 

“I don’t know what we are, other than people who love each other. I can’t promise you that I’ll be any good at talking, or opening up. All I can promise is that I love you.” He continued, staring deeply into her eyes. 

“That’s more than enough for me.” Y/N whispered. 

Unable to hold himself back anymore, Joel wrapped her up in his arms. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his in a passionate kiss. For that one moment, they were happier than they had ever been, just holding each other and being in love. 

They could only hope and pray for it to last…


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!   
> Sorry the update took so long.... :/

After two years of traveling together, there wasn’t much that changed between Y/N and Joel since Ohio. They had already seen each other at their worst and best. They had fought, reconciled, and even seen each other naked. They still didn’t talk as much as Y/N would have liked, but all the kissing was keeping her sated. 

She was discovering more and more how Joel showed his love. For the quiet warrior, love was all about physicality. Making sure he was always touching her in some way when he was the lookout and she slept. Tracing every part of her with his calloused hands. Pushing her behind him in a fight if he felt like she was in danger. 

Y/N didn’t need him to say anything, because he could tell her in a touch or a look. Yes, in some ways, things were exactly the same as before. On a more meaningful level, they were completely changed. 

There was more trust, more ease, and more happiness. They found something to fight for. Something tangible to endure and survive for. 

Evening in late September found the pair in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The gruff soldiers at the gates of the Quarantine Zone had given them some spare food and directed them to one of the more secure houses on the outskirts of the city. 

Joel and Y/N stayed for three days, enjoying the rare comforts found in the old building. There was a bed with a real (though slightly and tattered) mattress. The floors weren’t yet rotten and taken over by nature. The bedroom windows were completely unbroken, and provided insulation that Y/N had missed after weeks of camping in the woods and on the side of old highways. 

Y/N had found a copy of  _ The Hobbit,  _ and was reading contentedly while curled up on the bed. She didn’t look up when Joel came into the room, shirtless and slightly damp from his makeshift shower. 

The bed dipped when he sat on the end, pulling his flannel back on. The flash of fabric drew Y/N’s attention. She closed the book, and very purposefully crawled over to Joel. She hooked her chin over his shoulder and pulled his hand away from the buttons he was doing up. 

“That’s just not right, Joel. Don’t deprive me.” She teased lowly. 

He chuckled, moving his hand away from the shirt and resting it on her knee. Perhaps it was the safety she felt after a few days in their little sanctuary. Maybe it was the domesticity of the moment. Whatever it was, Y/N felt something switch on deep inside her. 

“I’m ready.” She purred. 

Joel snapped his gaze to meet hers. He turned to face her fully, taking both her hands in his own. 

“Are you sure?” He asked seriously. 

“Yes. I trust you.” Y/N promised, pushing the unbuttoned shirt away from his shoulders. 

Back in the meadow in Ohio, Y/N had told Joel one of the few things she had kept secret from him in all their time together. She was a virgin. He had been entirely understanding and hadn’t even brought up the idea of sex. He told her he would wait until the time was tight for her. 

That time had finally come. 

****

Y/N felt different. She was well into adulthood, eight years after the outbreak. It was cheesy, but she did feel more mature somehow. Like she’d just completed a right of passage. And what a right of passage it was. 

As the pair traveled through the very southern tip of New York, Y/N began pressing Joel to find a place to stop. They had nothing they were running from, and nothing they were running towards. 

“I’ll be happy anywhere as long as I have you, you know that. But when we hit the ocean, what then? We just turn around and go back across the country? I want somewhere we can stay and call home for a while.” Y/N pleaded. 

Joel grumbled and complained for a while, but eventually he agreed. They settled on Boston. There was bound to still be a functioning QZ they could get into. At the very least, there would be fortified remnants of one to provide protection. 

Eager to reach a place where they could breathe a sigh of relief, they reached the fully functioning Boston Quarantine Zone in just shy of two weeks. 

They were tested for infection, given registration and identification papers, and assigned a tiny apartment. Y/N was in one of the best moods of her life. At the sight of her jubilance, Joel even cracked a smile. 

First, they slept deeply for nearly twelve hours on their couch/bed, curled up comfortably in each other’s embraces. The next day, they celebrated  _ all  _ over the apartment. After that, they got some supplies and living necessities. 

The day after that, they explored the Zone, getting the lay of the land. Y/N had visited Boston a few times in her childhood, and could see the way it had changed since the infected altered the world. 

They returned to their building with a few hours before curfew left. They were greeted by woman with dark hair held back by a bandana. She was cleaning her fingernails with a wicked looking knife.

“So you’re the new meat everyone is gossiping about.” She said. 

Joel stepped ever so slightly in front of Y/N, moving a hand to touch the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans. 

“Who the hell are you?” Joel asked.

“Easy there, Texas. I’m not going to hurt you or your friend. I’m here to talk.” The woman said. 

“What’s your name?” Y/N asked, stepping around Joel to speak to the stranger. 

“Tess.” 


End file.
